Posts tagged ‘KPOP’

Another New Year …

A massive thanks to all the forces that somehow kept me going in 2017 through ups and downs, feasts and famines. Still getting used to yet another re-location within this great city – but feeling more at home. It’s been a very busy year, what with joining, (and training hard with) a new LGBT martial arts club and at one point also going to three sets of dance classes – Vogue, Hip Hop and Kpop (at my age, can you believe it …) – I guess the theme has been movement and pushing to new limits of endurance and self-discipline. The ongoing aim of the Mexican Toltec shamanic practices that I also study, has been to evoke the hummingbird energy. The ability to do the impossible. To expand and keep on pushing through – with joy and curiosity.


 Not surprisingly, like many other artists in this current climate, I’m also involved to a degree in grassroots politics and civil rights issues, mostly LGBT and anti-racist, which feels like a priority, though the work I really admire and wish for the courage to engage with, is environmental and ecological work. ”Taking it to the street” seems non-optional with so much at stake these days. My best thing ever of 2016/17 was being able to stick up for a refugee friend in court and help win her case – and her right to life. Few personal successes this year came close to the immense honour of being part of such a meaningful process. Talk about getting things in perspective.


The year rolled on with regular gigs at my usual haunt – Camdens (multi-award winning) Green Note  and a wonderfully rock ‘n’ roll week in  August performing at Manchesters prestigious ‘Rebellion’ nightclub with the ‘Shit Lesbian Disco’ crew. Who are neither shit, nor a disco. They are an all-female and lesbian musical collective, (DJs, tech crew, session musicians) of truly awesome industry credentials. Great mates and connections to have made. September was lean and mean as is often the way, then the season changed again, with prodigious songwriting and guitar playing, university teaching, private students, gigs and enormous worries about the UKs ongoing cock-up with Europe. Not to mention our future with the USA. And finally, the shocking, wasteful Christmas suicide of one of my favourite Korean musicians. The gifted fall, filled with doubt and self-loathing, whilst those who only destroy, wake up feeling great about themselves.


The world is shaking up. The years don’t get easier. Nor does the music industry. I worry about the march of tech, ‘smart’ devices that require our stupidity and passivity and the lack of discernment between organic and artificial realities. In all my activities, I work steadily to strengthen the muscle of courage, which like all muscles, improves with use. I believe in understanding beyond borders, love and friendship, spirit and soul, intellect and art, self-education and reliance and music above all. Everyday. No matter what. To those sensitive ones out there, who create and live beauty but never think it’s enough, please don’t commit suicide. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes it’s alright to have a break or even a break down. All things change eventually. Let’s remember Bruce Lees example and try to ‘walk on’ and see something new.


Click HERE to read my recent interview with jazz author Debbie Burke

She writes a fantastic jazz blog and is the author of ”Glissando, a Story of Love, Lust and Jazz” – to be published in July 2018.

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 If you are in London (or even if not) come and see me and my talented band members – billed as the FAYE PATTON QUARTET – at  jazz club Toulouse Lautrec, Sat Jan 20th. Click here to book.

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 I’ll also be playing Camdens Green Note, (as a duo, myself plus drummer) on Sun Feb 11th. Click here to book.

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 Happy New Year and bring on 2018!


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Cry Me A River …

 

 

“Tears are a river that takes you somewhere … Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace better.”

 

The above quote is from Clarissa Pinkola Estes ground breaking book – ‘Women Who Run with The Wolves’. In this work, about the power of story, dream and myth, she also describes tears as being what makes – literally manufactures as though it were a substance – that mysterious thing we call, soul.

 

What follows is no scientific treatise on grief, gender, tears or emotions. Tears defy science, logic and explanation.

 

Crying is such a powerful experience and social significant act, it’s hard to really describe. In some cultures and situations, to cry is a sign of extreme weakness and will be punished. Elsewhere, it’s not just expected, it’s required. The legitimacy of tears depending on gender roles and expectations is also a minefield of different meaning, with different rewards and punishments. Crying goes in and out of fashion – seen as both soft and strong. As a man, do you repress tears because you were told that boys don’t cry? Women do you repress them too ? We are also shamed and attacked if we cry, especially if we do it in the workplace. Our crying is seen as not ‘real’ but something manipulative, ‘turning on the waterworks’ for sympathy and worst of all, ‘proof’ that we are weak. These days, male crying is increasingly seen as something attractive – a sign of modernity, vulnerability and metrosexuality. Again, there are huge cultural variables. In North Korea, people are conditioned to cry, in ecstasy or grief depending on the fortunes of their great leader – and there are penalties for not crying on cue. And in the South, male Kpop idols breaking down in sobs at the end of their gig is absolutely de rigueur.

 

So go ahead, cry. When’s the last time you did? Are you someone who prides themselves on not? Can you no longer – or are circumstances such that it’s all you can do? How many songs have crying as a subject? What’s your crying style? Do you weep, wail, bawl, sob, boo and hoo or are you more of a silent tear rolling down a stoically stony face kind of crier? Are you a secret crier or a public one? Do you feel empowered or weakened if others see you cry? What’s the evolutionary function of tears? How do we navigate the connection between social shame or stigma and crying?

 

That moment when we know, suddenly and unexpectedly, that we are going to cry – especially if others are present, has a frisson of danger, of taboo intimacy to it.  It represents a surrender, a small death of illusion and of control. Like vomiting, or falling in love – there is a moment of no return. And in those moments we are as honest as we ever can be. No hiding. No pretending. Feelings don’t lie, they simply are.

 

The last time I cried was on my own this Saturday, in Ronnie Scotts, listening to bass player and singer, (and pianist and producer/band leader) Richard Bona. He settled into a chord progression that hit my heart and made me bury my face in my hands and practically choke. it was a moment for me alone. I can’t explain why or what it was about. Just the sheer beauty and intensely high quality vibration, I suppose. I know that I felt better for it. And soon I was laughing too. I have had parents in my music for babies and toddlers classes literally weep when I sing ‘Puff The Magic Dragon.’ Which is definitely a mystery to me! It seems that some melodies or frequencies just set us off.

 

Go ahead and cry if you want to – and cry for those that can’t. It’s natural and normal. You might just add years to your life.

 

Some fun things:

 

Sam Taylor Johnsons famous weeping men photos

 

Only in Japan: Rent a hot guy to make you cry then wipe your tears away

More handsome weeping boys of Japan

 


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